Elon Musk Goes Full MAGA

Yesterday I was writing a blog post about the dispiriting absurdity of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, two of the richest and consequently most powerful men in the world, spending months ostensibly hashing out the details of an MMA fight for charity. 

It’s important that the money for the Musk-Zuckerberg fight go to charities for veterans because god knows that the richest man in the world can’t literally just give BILLIONS of dollars to a wide array of worthy causes. 

I think we can all agree that spending forty-four billion dollars to buy Twitter in an attempt to curry favor with Catturd2 and protect The Babylon Bee’s god-given right to make the same joke for the rest of eternity and have the widest platform possible is a MUCH better use of Musk’s money than donating it to charities for the homeless or Cancer-stricken children.  

It was pathetic that a fifty-one-year old man with hundreds of children felt the need to prove to the world that he was a bigger tough guy and a more badass fighter than the short, slight nerd who owns Facebook. 

A man who desperately wants the world to see him as a genius, an innovator and a savior was sinking further and further into self-parody. I honestly couldn’t imagine him doing anything more desperate or sad to prove his manliness than spending months pretending he was going to beat up a rival Poindexter.

Then I was stupid enough to log onto Twitter, where I was immediately assaulted with the hilarious, utterly embarrassing image of Elon Musk with child molester facial hair wearing a backwards cowboy hat and sunglasses and all black. 

As someone who regularly writes about Musk and what an embarrassing idiot he is, I would like to thank the deluded halfwit for very graciously giving me images of him even more humiliating than the iconic image of him smoking a joint opposite Joe Rogan. 

Elon “Tex” Musk was cosplaying as a cowboy for a visit to the Mexico-United States border for a live-stream to address his concern about illegal immigration. 

If that sounds like the sort of photo op a Conservative politician would engage in rather than the owner of an electric car company that’s because these days Musk acts more like a politician than a businessman. 

During his field trip to the border Musk endorsed the idea of building a wall in order to prevent illegal immigration, something he suddenly feels very passionately about. 

At this point Musk has taken the Red Pill and gone full-MAGA. These days he seems less interested in making money than in impressing his new base of rabidly right-wing culture warriors perpetually apoplectic about “Fake News”, the Woke Mind Virus, securing the border and various other reactionary nonsense promoted on FOX NEWS. 

The only thing keeping Musk from passionately endorsing Donald Trump is that Trump has held him at arm’s length and alternated between praising the South African billionaire and condemning him. 

At a rally in Alaska he told the crowd, “You know [Musk] said the other day 'Oh, I've never voted for a Republican. I said 'I didn't know that.' He told me he voted for me. So he's another bullshit artist.”

Musk said that wasn’t true. Later Trump posted on his ironically named social media site Truth Social "When Elon Musk came to the White House asking me for help on all of his many subsidized projects, whether it's electric cars that don't drive long enough, driverless cars that crash, or rocketships to nowhere, without which subsidies he'd be worthless, and telling me how he was a big Trump fan and Republican, I could have said, 'drop to your knees and beg,' and he would have done it.”

Musk’s masculinity is so fragile that he dressed up like the Cowboy from the Village People in a hilariously failed attempt to look macho, American and Southern yet when Donald Trump literally said that Musk would be an abject failure without him and would happily get down on his hands and knees and beg in order to curry his favor the best he could muster was replying “Lmaooo" on Twitter.  In case you’re not familiar with internet slang, that means, “Laughing my ass off off off.” Musk was so amused by Trump’s words that he chuckled his posterior off multiple times.

Musk might have thought he would further win over your racist great-aunt by reinstalling Trump’s Twitter account but the move was greeted coldly by Trump, in no small part because he has his own rival shitty right-wing social media site to promote. 

Trump has only tweeted once since the ban was rescinded, and that was to share a mugshot he thought, not without reason, would enrage his base so much that they would hurl money in his direction in order to fight the crimes he’s DEFINITELY guilty of. 

Though Trump has called Musk a genius and said that his takeover of Twitter was a very good thing he’s insulted Musk so extensively, and so personally, that Musk tentatively threw his support in the 2024 election to Ron DeSantis, in part by hosting an event on Twitter Spaces where the lilliputian Florida governor announced his presidential run on Twitter Spaces. 

Musk clearly saw DeSantis as someone who shared his far-right-wing political beliefs, hatred of the trans community and anti-Woke rhetoric and, as a bonus, had not insulted him repeatedly. 

Republicans were inexplicably excited about the prospect of a DeSantis presidency until they actually saw the man in action. At that point the magic instantly wore off and Conservatives realized that DeSantis wasn’t a more electable Trump: he was a wholly unelectable DeSantis, and that might actually be worse than being Trump. 

I’m sure Musk still professes to have some political convictions that are not in line with the Alt-Right and the anti-woke mob, like being an environmentalist, but, if anything, he seems to be moving to the right of even Trump and his cultists. 

Something Trump and Musk have in common is a delusional belief that they do not get enough attention or press as a former president and the richest man in the world respectively and consequently need to constantly do and say obnoxious things to get attention. 

It doesn’t matter whether the attention is positive or negative: all attention seems to be positive for Musk and Trump, even if it’s people making fun of him on his own social media site for make-pretending to be a cowboy patriot at fifty-one. 

As an immigrant Musk can’t be president but I would not be surprised if he eventually ran for Senator or Governor of Texas. He has a much better shot of getting elected there than California and clearly being the world’s richest man and owning Tesla, Twitter and SpaceX does not give him the power and influence he desperately desires. 

Musk has somehow managed to seem even more desperate and embarrassing than the average Republican in the era of Trump, which is even sadder than his backwards cowboy hat. 

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