Features

My leisurely ramble though the Halloween movies continues with a look back at David Gordon Green’s 2018 smash Halloween, the best Halloween movie since Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

I was skeptical when noted medical geniuses Donald Trump and RFK Jr. said they’d find the cause and cure for autism but I will be the first to concede they succeeded!

If you want to know how Donald Trump will be mourned, just take a look at the way Charlie Kirk has been deified in his death.

My journey through the Halloween franchise continues with a look at 1981’s Halloween II. It’s that one sequel that was made because of money and not passionate inspiration

Michael Myers squares off against a kung fu-fighting Busta Rhymes in the wonderfully idiotic 2002 sequel Halloween: Resurrection.

Yes, Virginia, Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook really did star in a movie together, 1999’s Simon Sez. And yes, it was just as fucking miserable as you would imagine. Robert Downey Jr. really dodged a bullet dropping out of this turkey.

In 1990 Nicolas Cage made Firebirds, the first of several thousand forgettable action vehicles unworthy of his talent or originality.

John Travolta has big fun with a very big performance as a colorful lawman/law-breaker in the appealingly vulgar exploitation movie To Paris With Love.

Hey, you know what movie is great? Get Shorty. That movie is SO good.

I was skeptical when noted medical geniuses Donald Trump and RFK Jr. said they’d find the cause and cure for autism but I will be the first to concede they succeeded!

If you want to know how Donald Trump will be mourned, just take a look at the way Charlie Kirk has been deified in his death.

The disturbing part of President Trump continually insisting that “everyone” thinks he’s the best president ever, anointed by God to save our country and someone who should win the Nobel Prize is because he genuinely believes that to be true.

Rudy Giuliani’s very public fall from grace would be heartbreaking if it weren’t so freaking hilarious!

The Avatar movies are among the most popular of all time. So why does the franchise feel so culturally invisible compared to other box office champions?

Morbid curiosity led me to watch and write about 2022’s On the Line, an imaginary-seeming vehicle for a disgraced yet busy Mel Gibson as a prankish shock jock having one crazy night, in one of SEVEN movies he made that year.

After triumphing with the Oscar-winning Maniac Cop trilogy, writer Larry Cohen and director Wiliam Lustig reunited for 1996’s Uncle Sam, a curdled social satire/dark comedy/horror movie, which does not make good on its promise to be the most amazing film ever made.

They wanted some of that Max Headroom feeling for 1996’s Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, and they figured that since Matt Frewer is Max Headroom he must have it in spades.

In honor of President’s Day I’m re-running this article, featured in my new book The Joy of Trash, about Mike Bloomberg’s tragicomic, but mostly just hilarious attempt to buy the Democratic nomination for president in 2020.

Once upon a time, a struggling fast food franchise called Rax tried to re-vamp their image with new spokesman Mr. Delicious, a depressed, broke, unhappily married loser with a drinking problem. It did not go well.

The 2017 vanity project Michael Jackson’ s Halloween portrays the late pop icon as the essence of love and childhood innocence but is redeemed by a wall-to-wall soundtrack of Michael Jackson jams.

Why are movies that get the future of technology bizarrely wrong, like The Lawnmower Man, so weirdly charming and fun? 

I had to become a dad to be able to appreciate the single most heart-breaking moment in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Five thousand words on music, memory, childhood, sadness, imprisonment, despair AND the First ever Blues Brothers Con at Old Joliet Prison. It was a trip, y’all!

It all comes down to this! Feld-Month covers Corey Feldman and his scantily clad all-female backing band Corey's Angels' shamelessly entertaining, as well as just plain shameless, Branson, variety-show-style two-hour-plus live extravaganza in Atlanta. It's uh, well, it's something. Just read!

In this piece collected in my new book The Joy of Trash, I explore the infinite humiliations of Gal Gadot and Friends’ notorious cover of “Imagine” by some jerk.

Some pieces age better than others. This piece from 2020 that is collected in The Joy of Trash flippantly argued that there was nothing Jeremy Renner could do that would make us all forget his dumb app. Turns out I was VERY wrong.

We never should have even thought about writing this article.

Whether you’re a small child or a punk hitting your bottom on heroin and cocaine in the late 1970s, Yo Gabba Gabba! is full of life lessons.

We hope you're hungry for some meaty arguments! 

Not all celebrities remain rich and famous forever. Here are five who went from wealth and fame to being homeless street trash.

We were going to share some neat trivia about actress Mena Suvari but since you don’t even know who she is we’re not even going to bother.

You’ve seen all the memes! Now see them all again, this time with punishingly literal commentary!

We know you remember and love all of these classic but we need clicks, baby! Sweet, sweet clicks!