Features

Director-star Robby Benson trades in Ice Castles for mountains of blow as a troubled young professional with a beast of a crack addiction who has chosen to also get into dealing crack cocaine in the impossibly lurid 1989 crack exploitation movie White Hot.

It’s Psycho Versus Psychlo in the cinematic war of the millennium!

The Beach Boys least successful album sold less than one thousand copies and had zero contributions from Brian Wilson. It was, however, perversely drum machine heavy and featured Mike Love rapping.

Yes, rapping.

It is not good.

John Travolta has big fun with a very big performance as a colorful lawman/law-breaker in the appealingly vulgar exploitation movie To Paris With Love.

Hey, you know what movie is great? Get Shorty. That movie is SO good.

Shortly before the release of Battflefield Earth John Travolta contributed a voice to 1999’s Our Friend, Martin, an insane special with the balls to ask, “Why don’t 12 year olds from the present travel back in time to save Martin Luther King’s life?”

In 2022, Kanye leaked text messages where he called Diddy a fed and an agent of the international Jewish conspiracy. Now he wants Diddy freed. What changed? And why is Kanye always wrong?

I DESPISED the live-action Snow White but I also didn’t want it to fail spectacularly at the box-office in a way that taught Disney, and the film industry, all the wrong lessons.

Morbid curiosity led me to watch and write about 2022’s On the Line, an imaginary-seeming vehicle for a disgraced yet busy Mel Gibson as a prankish shock jock having one crazy night, in one of SEVEN movies he made that year.

After triumphing with the Oscar-winning Maniac Cop trilogy, writer Larry Cohen and director Wiliam Lustig reunited for 1996’s Uncle Sam, a curdled social satire/dark comedy/horror movie, which does not make good on its promise to be the most amazing film ever made.

They wanted some of that Max Headroom feeling for 1996’s Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, and they figured that since Matt Frewer is Max Headroom he must have it in spades.

In honor of President’s Day I’m re-running this article, featured in my new book The Joy of Trash, about Mike Bloomberg’s tragicomic, but mostly just hilarious attempt to buy the Democratic nomination for president in 2020.

Once upon a time, a struggling fast food franchise called Rax tried to re-vamp their image with new spokesman Mr. Delicious, a depressed, broke, unhappily married loser with a drinking problem. It did not go well.

The 2017 vanity project Michael Jackson’ s Halloween portrays the late pop icon as the essence of love and childhood innocence but is redeemed by a wall-to-wall soundtrack of Michael Jackson jams.

Why are movies that get the future of technology bizarrely wrong, like The Lawnmower Man, so weirdly charming and fun? 

I had to become a dad to be able to appreciate the single most heart-breaking moment in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Five thousand words on music, memory, childhood, sadness, imprisonment, despair AND the First ever Blues Brothers Con at Old Joliet Prison. It was a trip, y’all!

It all comes down to this! Feld-Month covers Corey Feldman and his scantily clad all-female backing band Corey's Angels' shamelessly entertaining, as well as just plain shameless, Branson, variety-show-style two-hour-plus live extravaganza in Atlanta. It's uh, well, it's something. Just read!

In this piece collected in my new book The Joy of Trash, I explore the infinite humiliations of Gal Gadot and Friends’ notorious cover of “Imagine” by some jerk.

Some pieces age better than others. This piece from 2020 that is collected in The Joy of Trash flippantly argued that there was nothing Jeremy Renner could do that would make us all forget his dumb app. Turns out I was VERY wrong.

We never should have even thought about writing this article.

Whether you’re a small child or a punk hitting your bottom on heroin and cocaine in the late 1970s, Yo Gabba Gabba! is full of life lessons.

We hope you're hungry for some meaty arguments! 

Not all celebrities remain rich and famous forever. Here are five who went from wealth and fame to being homeless street trash.

We were going to share some neat trivia about actress Mena Suvari but since you don’t even know who she is we’re not even going to bother.

You’ve seen all the memes! Now see them all again, this time with punishingly literal commentary!

We know you remember and love all of these classic but we need clicks, baby! Sweet, sweet clicks!