Features

It’s Christmas in January! 2010’s Hitlertastic The Nutcracker in 3-D has a reputation for being one of the worst and craziest movies ever made. That reputation is correct.

I’m enjoying being on social media site Threads, which is like Twitter but less evil.

One of you paid me to suffer through the 2017 time-loop Marlon Wayans vehicle Naked, which is like Groundhog Day, but nakeder and terrible.

My journey through the one season non-wonder Backstrom continues with a look at an episode where he solves a murder at a Scientology-like cult.

Some thoughts on Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, online cringe and neurodivergence.

A perfectly cast Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery are a mismatched buddy team for the ages in Michael Bay’s uncharacteristically enjoyable 1996 action adventure The Rock.

When it comes to pop culture representation of life on the spectrum, it doesn’t get worse or more insulting than Fred Durst’s deplorable 2019 psychodrama The Fanatic.

John Travolta continues to scrape the bottom with the deathly dull 2019 racing Trading Paint.

With Shania Twain for some reason?

I’m enjoying being on social media site Threads, which is like Twitter but less evil.

Some thoughts on Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, online cringe and neurodivergence.

I don’t support anyone who enthusiastically supports Adolf Hitler, but a number of Kanye West fans feel otherwise.

Some jokes have unmistakable historic value despite sucking.

Morbid curiosity led me to watch and write about 2022’s On the Line, an imaginary-seeming vehicle for a disgraced yet busy Mel Gibson as a prankish shock jock having one crazy night, in one of SEVEN movies he made that year.

After triumphing with the Oscar-winning Maniac Cop trilogy, writer Larry Cohen and director Wiliam Lustig reunited for 1996’s Uncle Sam, a curdled social satire/dark comedy/horror movie, which does not make good on its promise to be the most amazing film ever made.

They wanted some of that Max Headroom feeling for 1996’s Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, and they figured that since Matt Frewer is Max Headroom he must have it in spades.

Once upon a time, a struggling fast food franchise called Rax tried to re-vamp their image with new spokesman Mr. Delicious, a depressed, broke, unhappily married loser with a drinking problem. It did not go well.

The 2017 vanity project Michael Jackson’ s Halloween portrays the late pop icon as the essence of love and childhood innocence but is redeemed by a wall-to-wall soundtrack of Michael Jackson jams.

Why are movies that get the future of technology bizarrely wrong, like The Lawnmower Man, so weirdly charming and fun? 

I had to become a dad to be able to appreciate the single most heart-breaking moment in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Five thousand words on music, memory, childhood, sadness, imprisonment, despair AND the First ever Blues Brothers Con at Old Joliet Prison. It was a trip, y’all!

It all comes down to this! Feld-Month covers Corey Feldman and his scantily clad all-female backing band Corey's Angels' shamelessly entertaining, as well as just plain shameless, Branson, variety-show-style two-hour-plus live extravaganza in Atlanta. It's uh, well, it's something. Just read!

In this piece collected in my new book The Joy of Trash, I explore the infinite humiliations of Gal Gadot and Friends’ notorious cover of “Imagine” by some jerk.

Some pieces age better than others. This piece from 2020 that is collected in The Joy of Trash flippantly argued that there was nothing Jeremy Renner could do that would make us all forget his dumb app. Turns out I was VERY wrong.

In honor of President’s Day I’m re-running this article, featured in my new book The Joy of Trash, about Mike Bloomberg’s tragicomic, but mostly just hilarious attempt to buy the Democratic nomination for president in 2020.

For the first entry in My Year of Flops II: The Desolation of Smaug we do a VERY deep dive into Kevin Spacey’s bonkers Youtube video Let Me Be Frank.

Whether you’re a small child or a punk hitting your bottom on heroin and cocaine in the late 1970s, Yo Gabba Gabba! is full of life lessons.

We hope you're hungry for some meaty arguments! 

We never should have even thought about writing this article.

Not all celebrities remain rich and famous forever. Here are five who went from wealth and fame to being homeless street trash.

We were going to share some neat trivia about actress Mena Suvari but since you don’t even know who she is we’re not even going to bother.

You’ve seen all the memes! Now see them all again, this time with punishingly literal commentary!

We know you remember and love all of these classic but we need clicks, baby! Sweet, sweet clicks!