Justin Timberlake's Long Overdue Reckoning

For the past few months, I’ve been thinking about writing a blog post about a clip that went viral a while ago of Justin Timberlake looking and dancing like a doofus at one of his concerts. 

It gained such traction that Timberlake issued a mock “apology” in which he blamed his shoes and, to a lesser extent, the khakis he was wearing like a Gap/Blockbuster employee in the 1990s. 

I was going to write about how Timberlake’s dorky dancing humanized someone who has been a massive superstar since he was a veritable child, making him seem both vulnerable and relatable. 

I was going to write about how, during the MeToo movement, powerful men in entertainment were held responsible for their actions like never before. This afforded society an excellent opportunity to finally hold Timberlake accountable for the way he treated Britney Spears and Janet Jackson. 

It seemed wrong, and still seems very wrong, that Timberlake treated his ex-girlfriend and Jackson so badly yet managed to escape the consequences of his actions more or less completely. 

Why? Well, Timberlake was very young when his career began. He was a kid thrust into the spotlight by a parasitic monster. I can’t even imagine how traumatic and emotionally scarring that must have been. 

But mostly, we let Timberlake off the hook because he was cute and wrote catchy songs. Write infectious enough jams, and the public will forgive or ignore just about anything, as evidenced by R. Kelly having a thriving career after his not-so-secret life as the pedophiliac leader of a sex cult was exposed for all the world to see. 

Timberlake has been very savvy in how he has conducted his career, but the tide is turning for him. 

A long overdue reckoning is currently in progress. No one paid attention when Timberlake got all precious and apologized for his sub-par boogying. But plenty of folks noticed when he responded to Spears apologizing to him for some of the things she wrote about in her memoir by saying, in concert, that he’d “like to take this opportunity to apologize — to absolutely f---ing nobody.” 

We can all agree that that is fucking obnoxious. Timberlake can afford to be gracious. Spears’ life has been just a little bit harder than his. He’s had slightly less to deal with, in that her life is a tragic public psychodrama while Timberlake has largely skated from success to success. 

Also, Timberlake disrespected Prince. You don’t do that, especially if you’re Justin Timberlake and you owe your career and your sound to black performers.

Timberlake could have sincerely apologized for his actions and for writing “Cry Me a River,” a song villainizing Spears for being unfaithful when he himself was a flagrant cheat. 

So I was not at all surprised when Timberlake’s recent drunk driving arrest and mugshot were greeted by the entire internet with a Nelson Muntz-like “Ha ha!” 

Timberlake stumbled into instant meme super-fame with a legendary exchange with a law enforcement officer who had no idea who he was (which is striking because even if you hate the guy and think he’s a creep, you can’t deny that he’s very famous), and who responded to Timberlake’s famous complaint that the arrest was going to ruin the tour by asking “What tour?” to which Timberlake replied, “The world tour.” 

Why is that so hilarious? Why has it been memed to death? Why are we so amused by Timberlake’s humiliation? Why is Timberlake’s arrest a schadenfreude bonanza? 

I suppose it’s because Timberlake comes off as such a pompous boob in the exchange. He’s a mean-spirited caricature of a vain pop star convinced that the world revolves around him and his ego.

The stone-faced seriousness of Timberlake’s mugshot is similarly guffaw-inducing in its earnestness. 

Of course, Timberlake remains a big star, if not as big as he used to be. He wasn’t some local musician talking delusionally about a world tour; he’s a huge pop star who still has a sizable audience. 

It’s precisely because Timberlake is so well known and has been for so long that we’re all able to get so much nachas out of his misfortune. 

The Big WhoopNathan RabinJustin Timberlake, Prince, Britney Spears