America's Last Line of Defense's Tricky Double Game

If you spend a lot of time on Facebook, you’ve probably run across articles from America’s Last Line of Defense. It’s a page with just under three hundred followers that has posts with headlines like “Harrison Ford Becomes the Biggest Name So Far to Bail on Hollywood and Join Mel Gibson’s “Non-Woke” Studio”, “Nashville Legend George Strait Weighs In on Beyonce: Playing Dress-Up Doesn’t Make You Country” and “Jason Aldean Turned Down a 20 Million Dollar Offer to Duet a Song on Cowboy Carter: “No Way I’m Putting My Name on That Crap.” 

I worked for The Onion for eighteen years, and I am ashamed to admit that until I Googled America’s Last Line of Defense, I assumed that site was, like The Babylon Bee, Conservative “satire” that lazily recycles the same hateful gag ad infinitum. 

I learned that America’s Last Line of Defense is the product of Christopher Blair, a Liberal using satire to mock the gullibility of the MAGA set from a 2018 Washington Post profile. 

Once I knew that, America’s Last Line of Defense’s leftist satirical slant became obvious. What’s tricky about the page is that the posts are just headlines and images; the actual article itself is in the comments sections. That’s also where America’s Last Line of Defense trolls the clueless Trump supporters who flock to the page.

America’s Last Line of Defense’s posts are specifically designed to be shared by Conservatives. Since only the post itself is shared, and not the article in the comments or the page itself aggressively trolling conservatives, it’s easy to see how irony-oblivious oldsters could be fooled by obvious satire. 

The Washington Post also profiled a 76-year-old woman who had been radicalized online and, like most of the people who flock to America’s Last Line of Defense, thought it was a non-fake Conservative page exposing the duplicity and evil of the Woke mob rather than leftist satire mocking the stupidity of Trump die-hards, who are derided as “Taters” within the page itself. 

The Washington Post article’s antithetical subjects overlap when the geriatric Trump supporter reads an article on America’s Last Line of Defense about Donald Trump inviting Michelle Obama and Chelsea Clinton to the White House for a ceremony, only to have the former first ladies give him “the finger” during the National Anthem. 

This causes her to comment, “Well, they never did have any class,” a sentiment echoed by other commenters, who offered thoughts like, “Gross. Those women have no respect for themselves,” “They deserve to be publicly shunned,” and “Not surprising behavior from such ill-bred trash.”

There are, in fact, Liberals on the page trolling Conservatives, but they are outnumbered by Conservatives who think fake news is real or might be real, or, at the very least, is the work of Conservatives giving Liberals the business. 

Roughly twenty percent of America’s Last Line of Defense’s commenters seem to understand the joke and play along. The rest are fooled in no small part because they see the headline and comment earnestly without reading the article in the comments or the page’s owner’s comments, which are blatant in their contempt for right-wing boobs who think they’re reading something real.  

That’s because Conservatives want to believe that the page’s content is true. For Baby Boomers, America’s Last Line of Defense serves as wish fulfillment. It inhabits an upside-down world where proud Conservatives and/or the politically neutral are forever sticking it to “Woke” extremists, and there are steep professional and economic consequences for committing the unforgivable crime of being “Woke.”. 

Most of America’s Last Line of Defense’s recent content focuses on a white country establishment shunning Beyonce Knowles for being inauthentic and desperate and various celebrities joining forces for “non-woke” entertainment. 

This plays into a reactionary fantasy that Beyonce, a powerful, ubiquitous, and acclaimed figure associated with the Left, Black Lives Matter, and, of course, the Woke Mind Virus, will be put in her place for being all uppity and trying to perform music by “real” country artists. And by “real,” they, of course, mean “white.” 

Part of the reason I lazily assumed America’s Last Line of Defense was Conservative is because there are lots of other pages like it that don’t have any kind of satirical slant whatsoever. 

For example, a page called SpaceX Fanclub has headlines nearly identical to those found on America’s Last Line of Defense, but instead of being the work of a Democrat making fun of gullible conservatives, the articles all appear to have been written with AI. 

They have the breathless earnestness endemic to AI, that uncanny sense that a robot is pretending to be a human being and doing a terrible job. 

As with America’s Last Line of Defense, the headline is the post; the article is a link in the comments. 

Here are some representative passages from an article titled “Breaking: Paramount Awards $1 Billion Project to Mark Wahlberg and Mel Gibson’s Non-Woke Production Studio”

Industry analysts view this partnership as a strategic move by Paramount to diversify its content offerings and tap into burgeoning market segments that crave compelling narratives devoid of ideological agendas. The studio’s willingness to bet big on Wahlberg and Gibson’s vision reflects a broader industry trend towards prioritizing creativity and authenticity over divisive messaging.

In recent years, Hollywood has grappled with criticism over its perceived shift towards politically charged content, often at the expense of traditional storytelling and artistic integrity. The emergence of Wahlberg-Gibson Productions signals a potential renaissance in mainstream entertainment, with a renewed emphasis on creativity and audience engagement.

Paramount’s decision to entrust a $1 billion project to the new studio underscores its commitment to fostering creative innovation and pushing boundaries in the entertainment landscape. By empowering visionary filmmakers like Mark Wahlberg and Mel Gibson, Paramount aims to redefine industry norms and resonate with audiences seeking authentic, non-woke storytelling.

Where’s the joke? Where’s the humor? Where’s the edge? Where’s the satire? The same is true of a piece titled “Breaking: CBS Offers Tim Allen and Richard Karn $1 Billion for a Non-Woke Sitcom, “Bound to Make Waves” that contains paragraphs like 

In today’s cultural landscape, navigating societal sensitivities has become a focal point for creators and entertainers. Tim Allen and Richard Karn’s non-woke sitcom seeks to strike a balance between humor and sensitivity, challenging conventional narratives without compromising artistic integrity.

The sitcom’s approach to addressing cultural sensitivities reflects a broader shift in the industry toward nuanced storytelling and inclusive representation. By fostering meaningful dialogue through comedy, Allen and Karn aim to engage audiences in thought-provoking conversations about contemporary issues.

At its core, CBS’s $1 billion offer to Tim Allen and Richard Karn represents a celebration of creative freedom in entertainment. The network’s willingness to invest in unfiltered storytelling underscores a growing demand for authentic and relatable content that resonates with viewers of all backgrounds.

Allen and Karn’s non-woke sitcom promises to defy expectations and spark conversations, embracing the power of comedy to challenge societal norms and promote understanding. By championing creative freedom, CBS sets a precedent for future collaborations that prioritize artistic expression above all else.

The article’s anonymous writer clearly used “Mark Wahlberg and Mel Gibson form non-woke studio” and “Tim Allen and Richard Karn plot non-woke sitcom” as AI prompts, then lazily recycled the results.

Is Blair accomplishing anything by making fun of idiots who don’t realize that they’re being mocked? Do conservatives who assume the posts are authentic and discover otherwise learn anything in the process? Will they be more skeptical going forward? 

While I admire Blair’s hustle and the pieces themselves are clever and well-written, I suspect that the answer to all three questions is “no.”

I hate to be negative, but we, as a culture, never learn anything. That’s why we’re on the verge of electing Donald Trump to be the most powerful man on earth a second time. 

Satire won’t save us, particularly when ignorant maroons can’t discern what’s real and what’s a joke.

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