How Not to Make an Ass of Yourself Online

A while back the great Bob Newhart trended on Twitter for a very stupid, very online reason. Above an image of the late Don Rickles the account @GaryPetersonUSA tweeted “If Bob Newhart were around today, he’d call up every wokester, tell them “get fucked,” and slam the phone on the receiver.”

This made people VERY angry. Apoplectic even. It inspired so much outrage and indignation that despite coming from a fairly obscure account without a huge number of followers (around eight thousand at this point), the tweet had a profound enough effect on the Twitter algorithm that the magical computer wizard who determines trending topics registered it as a matter of major concern. 

Horrified Twitter users harshly criticized this Gary Peterson as an ignorant, Trump-loving ignoramus who can’t even tell the difference between Don Rickles and Bob Newhart, comic icons who, despite famously being longtime best friends are otherwise two very different men, and thinking that Newhart, one of the most famously clean and buttoned-down men in the history of comedy, would use profanity to antagonize the young people of today. 

People could not believe that anyone could be so dense and misguided, even if they were a very online MAGA advocate. That instinct was right, but not necessarily in the way they might have thought. 

“Gary Peterson” is not dim-witted enough to think that Bob Newhart is dead, loved profanity and also looked exactly like Don Rickles because “Gary Peterson” is a parody account designed to make fun of MAGA cultists and ill-informed boobs. 

Good satire is sometimes/often mistaken for what it’s mocking. In that respect Peterson’s goof did its job too well, in that an entire army of enraged comedy fans mistook it for a non-ironic attack on the “woke” crowd rather than fairly clear-cut satire that manages to pack a number of mildly amusing ideas into a single tweet, like incorporating Newhart’s phone shtick in a wonderfully off, incoherent kind of way.  

When I first encountered this tweet I will concede that my knee jerk first response was that someone had said something wrong and ignorant on the internet and it was my sacred duty as a denizen of the world wide web to inform this person of their error. 

Then I looked at the tweet a second time, thought about it for ten seconds and thought, “Oh, that’s a parody tweet.” I clicked on the man’s profile and saw that he was definitely giving everyone the business. 

The satire flew over the heads of others. An online publication called Political Flare went so far as to write an entire article about a guy on social media tweeting something dumb, only to realize at some later date that “GaryPetersonUSA” was making fun of Trump supporters. 

In a fascinatingly misguided move, they acknowledged their error, but did not delete the article, explaining, “WE ARE LEAVING IT UP BECAUSE WE DON’T “DELETE” OUR MISTAKES, WE ADMIT THEM.”

They accordingly kept online an article with passages like, “The lesson here is that MAGAs aren’t good at that new “Google” app thing. This is not a parody account and the guy was not trying to be funny.” 

Only it was a parody account from a man trying to be funny.

Social media thrives on anger and outrage, however, so a lot of Twitter users understandably inclined to think the worst of Trump supporters failed to do the tiny amount of “research” necessary to ascertain whether something that honestly feels a lot like a joke is, in fact, a joke. 

When you see a tweet that makes you angry and seems like it might be a joke, refrain from acting quickly and rashly. Take a deep breath, count to ten and then figure out whether or not the tweet in question is comic trolling or the genuine idiocy of a MAGA provocateur. 

By doing so you will spare yourself the minor embarrassment of mistaking a joke tweet for the real thing and you will play a minor part in making the internet a less angry, slightly more informed if still extremely toxic place. 

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