I'm Intrigued, but I'm Probably NOT Going to Spend a Thousand Dollars to See Andrew "Dice" Clay Perform Stand-Up — It Turns Out the Naming Rights! Membership Option Was For Real and Someone Is Now Five Hundred Bucks Poorer Presents Nat

I don’t go to many stand-up shows these days because I am a husband and father who lives in suburbs. The only venue that’s remotely convenient is the Ameris Bank amphitheater but since that’s an outdoor venue I won’t be going there until at least the Spring.

I may be a veteran pop culture writer but above all else I am a boring, middle-aged married man so going to any concert or stand-up show is a pretty big deal for me. It has to be someone I really, really like and/or have written multiple books about or it’s not generally worth the considerable hassle.

Going out is special for me. I was a boring middle aged man in my twenties as well but I lived in Chicago and had a job where I could get into just about any concert or show for free.

Yet I nevertheless keep an eye out for shows I might want to attend but almost assuredly will not, due to the money, and time, and aggravation involved. Also, I’m old and lame. Have I mentioned that? It’s very important to understanding me and my old and lame lifestyle.

I’ve only been to two comedy clubs in Atlanta, a sad corporate monstrosity where I saw Norm MacDonald perform WELL before he died and The Laughing Skull lounge, a super-cool, super-hip, super-tiny club that bills itself as the country’s smallest functioning comedy club.

I’ve seen Bobcat Goldthwait and Dana Gould perform there, separately. So when I saw that Andrew “Dice” Clay, a onetime stand-up superstar so massive that he sold out Madison Square Garden at the height of his popularity, would be playing the Laughing Skull lounge, I was intrigued.

I would happily part with fifty dollars for the sake of seeing one of the most controversial and popular stand-up comedians of the twentieth century play probably the smallest venue in decades.

I figured that I would be able to write about the experience, either for this site or for Fatherly, my primary freelance outlet these days.

Then I looked at the prices of tickets and was absolutely gobsmacked. The cheapest tickets ran a mere SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS but that was before nearly a hundred dollars in service fees.

If you want an upfront VIP table, it’ll set you back EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS. A high top VIP table will run you a mere SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS while a VIP booth will set you back NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS, but after service fees it’ll be well over a thousand dollars for one ticket to one show.

That might seem exorbitant BUT tickets come with a free tee-shirt. That’s gotta be worth, what, three hundred dollars?

I am not insane so I will not be spending between 750 and 1100 dollars to see Andrew “Dice” Clay perform stand-up. BUT if some insanely generous soul wants to buy a ticket for me so that I can experience this once, or rather twice in a lifetime event (he’s doing two shows) I will happily accept your generosity and write about the show for this here website.

While I was researching this blog post I saw that ANOTHER pop icon of the distant past was coming to my hometown for a show.

Yes, Corey Feldman will be coming to Atlanta on December 14th to perform music. Tickets are going for twenty dollars and I’ve gotta admit I’m tempted, because the last time I saw him perform it was an utterly surreal experience I’ll never forget.

Should I re-up for the Corey experience? Or would that involve supporting someone who should not be supported, financially, professionally or otherwise?

I dunno, but the fact that the tickets are almost suspiciously cheap rather than comically, ridiculously over-priced makes seeing Corey a SECOND TIME a possibility it not an inevitability.

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