Nathan Rabin's Happy Place Is Now Nathan Rabin's Happy Place and NFT Wonder Emporium!

I started Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place in April of 2017 with but a single modest goal in mind: to make a fuck-ton of money immediately so that I could retire early to a private island in the Bahamas.

I figured that I was so famous and so beloved that I could slap my name on any old garbage website and no matter how badly it sucked, people would still throw money at it, and by extension, me. 

It hasn’t quite worked out that way! Instead of making great gobs of cash for doing no work at all I have been working hard for a modest sum of money. 

But I’ve never given up on my dream of getting rich quick without contributing anything of substance to society in the process. 

That’s why I could not be more excited about the hottest and BEST new fad in finance, NFTs. What are NFTs? I have no idea. Nobody does! That’s what makes them so special and valuable. 

Anyone fool can invest money in things they understand but it takes a real dreamer to look at something hot and controversial and say, “I have NO idea what this is but I’m all in!” 

You’ve got to be aggressive to make money! It’s like the classic story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. See, there was a very vain and narcissistic Emperor and an ambitious tailor decided to create a unique wardrobe for him. I haven’t read the ending but I’m sure everything worked out well for everyone involved. 

I don’t know what NFTs are. But I DO know that I want to make a lot of money. SOMEBODY is making money off NFTs. Why can’t that someone be me? 

This isn’t just a Drew Barrymore-branded spatula. It’s also an NFT!

As of today, Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place is now Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place and NFT Wonder Emporium! I’ve got ALL the hottest NFTs! I’ve got NFTs up the wazoo! I’ve got more NFTs than this country boy has any idea what to do with! 

My NFTs are priced so low you can’t afford NOT to buy them! You know that popular motivational poster from the 1970s of the kitty hanging from the branch accompanied by the words “Hang in there, baby!” That’s now a NFT that I will happily sell you for a million dollars. Don’t have a million dollars? Then how about 20 dollars and you promise to buy me lunch? 

Remember ALF? He’s back in pog AND NFT form! I will happily sell you an NFT of an ALF pog for seventy-five dollars. 

But that’s not all! Like your numbers randy and/or stony? Then you’re in luck, because I am selling the number AND sexual position 69 for 420 dollars and I’m selling the marijuana slang 420 for 69 dollars a piece. 

There’s only one word for a deal like that: NICE! 

You know what else is NICE? Borat’s catchphrases! And now you can buy them all from me as NFTs! But promise you won’t tell MY WIFE or it might be a long, long time until I’m able to make sexy-time again! 

My ambivalent feelings about the phrase Manic Pixie Dream Girl is also available as an NFT because god knows I’d love to be able to make some money off that. 

Just send money to my PayPal address at nathanrabin@sbcglobal.net and indicate which NFT you’d like and I’ll shoot you an email indicating that you are the only person in the world with that NFT, and consequently are special and rare and unique and your mother never should have abandoned you. 

Sorry, I was confusing my own trauma with your hopefully less tragic existence but I will happily sell my mother’s abandonment of me to you as an NFT for 75 dollars. 

“Hey, that’s not how NFTs work!” you’re probably yelling at your laptop right now. I know it isn’t! But I’m a luddite so my NFTs reflect my analog sensibility. 

So please do buy my NFTs now before this whole stupid fad burns itself out in a manner of months, if not weeks.

Pre-order The Joy of Trash, the Happy Place’s upcoming book about the very best of the very worst and get instant access to all of the original pieces I’m writing for them AS I write them (there are five so far, including Shasta McNasty and the second season of Baywatch Nights) AND, as a bonus, monthly write-ups of the first season Baywatch Nights you can’t get anywhere else (other than my Patreon feed) at https://the-joy-of-trash.backerkit.com/hosted_preorders

AND of course you can also pledge to this site and help keep the lights on at https://www.patreon.com/nathanrabinshappyplace