Bruce and Terry Square Off Against a Man Intent on Turning People Into Dinosaurs In a Batman Beyond Two-Parter That Is, Honestly, a Little Silly
Welcome, friends, to the latest entry in Control Nathan Rabin 4.0. It’s the career and site-sustaining column that gives YOU, the kindly, Christ-like, unbelievably sexy Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place patron, an opportunity to choose a movie that I must watch, and then write about, in exchange for a one-time, one hundred dollar pledge to the site’s Patreon account. The price goes down to seventy-five dollars for all subsequent choices.
“Curse of the Kobra” stands out for several reasons. It’s notable for being a two-part episode and for coming near the end of Batman Beyond’s remarkable if too brief run. After this entry all that’s left for us to cover on this journey are the final two episodes “Countdown” and “Unmasked” and then the direct-to-video spin-off Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.
The final reason that “Curse of the Kobra” is distinctive is because it is about a young man with an aura of ineffable sadness and a curious, unfortunate destiny: to facilitated a new Paleolithic golden age in which dinosaurs finally take back the planet from the puny man-animals who have ruled it in their absence.
It’s like that viral panel from Spider-Man where Spider-Man tells a bad guy that with his incredible powers he could cure Cancer and he replies, as all of us would, if we’re being honest with ourselves, that he doesn’t WANT to cure Cancer.
No, what he wants to do is turn people into dinosaurs. These wonderful words were written by the great Elliot Kalan of The Flop House fame and they are supposed to be funny.
The same, strangely enough, is not necessarily true of Batman Beyond’s portrayal of a teenaged weirdo who doesn’t just want to turn people into dinosaurs: he feel he MUST turn people into dinosaurs, that it is his noble, if strange, destiny.
The high school oddball in question is Zander. He’s clipped and brusque in his speech and seems alien both in the sense of coming from another country and being an emissary from another world.
Zander is a student at a dojo run by Kairi Tanaga. Once upon a time Kairi and Bruce studied together under the same sensei. Then Bruce pursued the whole superhero path while Kaira divides her time between teaching and selling fish in a thick accent.
The unassuming old woman who turns out to be a formidable warrior is a hackneyed trope Batman Beyond is seemingly above. Batman Beyond seems to be setting her up as a recurring character but since the show was on its final episodes that never ultimately happened.
Batman Beyond inhabits a world where the boundaries separating man from animals has been erased through the process of splicing. Splicing involves the DNA of a human being fusing with that of an animal to create something that is not quite human, not quite animal but rather something terrifyingly, exhilaratingly new and unknown.
Splicing is a meditation on the bifurcated nature of science and technology, the way it makes our lives better and easier but at an incredible cost to our souls, societies and civilization.
It’s a cyber-punk conceit, the idea that’s usually metaphorically rich but, to be brutally honest, it just kind of comes off silly here. I’m not entirely sure why but it probably has something to do with dinosaurs.
There’s something inherently comic and absurd about dinosaurs. Dinosaurs’ mere existence seems absurd when you’re a child, like some crazy shit grown-ups make up in a desperate, doomed attempt for the world to make sense that only makes history seem kookier and harder to believe.
Even in a futuristic comic book realm like this it’s possible to go too far. “Curse of the Kobra” crosses that blurry, invisible line by taking the concept of splicing to a comic extreme with a crazed zealot intent on making our humble little planet habitable for dinosaurs again.
Zander has two big goals. One of which is to engineer an apocalypse for humanity that brings back dinosaurs in the biggest possible way. That, honestly, seems a little strange to me.
Zander’s other goal is much more relatable. He understandably has a crush on Terry’s friend and sidekick Max and wants her to rule Dino World by his side. But first he wants her to become a dinosaur herself and she’s not quite ready for that level of commitment.
The character of Max afforded Batman Beyond to have it both ways. Max allows Batman Beyond to simultaneously subvert sexist comic book and superhero cliches while simultaneously exploiting them.
Max is admirably designed as a stereotype-shattering progressive figure: a brilliant, funny, exceedingly capable and confident black woman who is Terry’s equal, if not better than him in many ways.
But this is a comic book show so Max is also supermodel gorgeous, does not appear to possess an ounce of cellulite, wears tight, revealing clothing and, when she’s not saving others, needs to be saved herself, not unlike some manner of damsel in distress.
Zander has Max dress in a particularly sexy outfit that can’t help but highlight how much Batman Beyond sexualizes a character it seemed intent on not sexualizing.
If anyone could invest the saga of a sad young man intent on killing off humanity for the sake of his dinosaur overlords with real pathos and emotion it’s Batman Beyond. Alas, this is just silly and not in a sublime manner either.
We only have two episodes left and this sub-par two-parter leaves plenty of room for improvement.
Pre-order The Fractured Mirror, the Happy Place’s next book, a 600 page magnum opus about American films about American films, illustrated by the great Felipe Sobreiro over at https://the-fractured-mirror.backerkit.com/hosted_preorders
The Joy of Trash, the Happy Place’s first non-"Weird Al” Yankovic-themed book is out! And it’s only 16.50, shipping, handling and taxes included, 30 bucks for two books, domestic only!
Buy The Joy of Trash, The Weird Accordion to Al and the The Weird Accordion to Al in both paperback and hardcover and The Weird A-Coloring to Al and The Weird A-Coloring to Al: Colored-In Special Edition signed from me personally (recommended) over at https://www.nathanrabin.com/shop
Or you can buy The Joy of Trash here and The Weird A-Coloring to Al here and The Weird Accordion to Al here
Help ensure a future for the Happy Place during an uncertain era AND get sweet merch by pledging to the site’s Patreon account at https://www.patreon.com/nathanrabinshappyplace We just added a bunch of new tiers and merchandise AND a second daily blog just for patrons!
Alternately you can buy The Weird Accordion to Al, signed, for just 19.50, tax and shipping included, at the https://www.nathanrabin.com/shop or for more, unsigned, from Amazon here.
I make my living exclusively through book sales and Patreon so please support independent media and one man’s dream and kick in a shekel or two!